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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Opening lines

I often stress about the first paragraph, even the first sentence, of what I write. I worry that if it's not perfect, no one will want to read past page one. So I have a personal philosophy of trying to start in the midst of action/event/conversation so the reader feels compelled to figure out what's going on by reading further than page one. I'm not sure this is effective or correct. But I would like to find out what style of opening lines really is most compelling to a reader.

Here are the opening lines to my one completely finished book (which will never be published, but that's another story):

“Anne! Anne, are you up here?”
            Anne turned from the window, wiping the tears from her cheeks. She sniffed. She didn’t want Liz to see her crying. She walked over to her bed, replaced her mother’s picture on her dresser, and sat with her back against the headboard.
            “Anne?” Liz cracked her door open and peeked in.
            “Yes, I’m here,” she replied.
            “Are you pouting?”
            “Of course not,” she replied testily.
            Liz walked closer, and Anne turned her head so she couldn’t see her red eyes and nose.
            “You can’t hide it, Anne. You’ve been crying.”
            Anne sighed and looked back at Liz. “Okay, fine, but I was upset. It’s not a crime to cry.”
            “You should cry over someone worth crying about,” she said tersely. “Really, you’re taking this too hard.”
            Anne opened her mouth to reply, then bit back her words. It would do no good to yell at Liz. She was not the one at fault. No, Anne was mad at her father. And telling Liz that she was the one who got to do anything she wanted, got to spend as much as she wanted, and got to date as much as she wanted, while Anne had to stay at home and play good little mom to their younger sister, Mary… well, that wouldn’t make her sound mature or responsible. And that would make her father more upset.

So, does reading this much make you want to read further? 

Here are more opening lines, from a rough draft of a story:

"Hurry, Elaine, catch up," her mom called.

Elaine looked up, nervous and excited, fearful yet proud. Her kindergarten registration day. Big girl now... that's what Mom had just said as she'd hurried her from the car to the school's big double doors. They'd walked down the tiled hallway together, Elaine's dress shoes making a "tap tap" sound that echoed in the quiet. Her mother's shoes didn't make more than a quiet shuffle, so she'd tried to walk on her toes, but that just made her walk too slow. Now her mom was holding the classroom door open and beckoning her to come to her side. 

In four noisy, clattering steps, Elaine ran to her mother's side and peered in the door. It was huge. It was... colorful. And there, sitting at a kidney-bean shaped table, was her teacher, Mrs. Jorgensen. The lady had light brown, closely curled hair, wrinkles, and a nice smile. But Elaine still didn't want to budge from the doorway, despite her mother's increasing pressure on the back of her head. 

"Come in!" Mrs. Jorgensen called. "You must be Mrs. Radcliffe."

"Yes," her mother called, a little too brightly. "And this is Elaine." She stepped into the room and let the door begin to swing closed, so Elaine had no choice but to step inside and avoid being crunched in the doorway. Her mom took her arm and led her to the table. "Sorry we are late," she said with a sigh. "I had to leave my other children with the babysitter." 

...............................

And that's it for now! Opening lines... not quite as epic as "It was a dark and stormy night..." but let me know if they are effective. 

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